Movies

Zombieland or How Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Weapons, Especially Shotguns

About twelve years ago I watched the film Zombieland and wrote about it. I went back and looked at what I had done and was amazed at how excited I was about the weapons and the mayhem in the movie. I am aware that I had my tongue securely stuck in my cheek as I wrote and was dealing with satire in a satirical way. However, times have changed so much in those twelve years, so many children, educators and other innocents have been murdered by easily available weapons that are designed specifically to kill human beings that I question whether satire is enough, or even morally okay. But what is enough to change a culture that worships violence, celebrates the machinery of murder, and bends the knee to a felon? A good joke is still a good joke, though … so, “Question: What borders on stupidity? Answer: Canada and Mexico.” Now for my crude ecstasy over a Mossberg 500 12 gauge.

ZOMBIELAND

If you liked Shaun of the Dead you’ll love Zombieland. That’s a cheap sales pitch but it’s true. Zombieland has more violence, more turn-your-head-away flesh eating gore, but it is kick-ass-in-your-face funny even if you don’t like that kinda’ thang. It may be more American in that way. In terms of the fire power they use it is unequivocally more American. Shaun… uses sticks and stones, and whiskey bottles and finally resorts to an ancient rifle hanging on the wall of a pub, but Woody Harrelson, for the showdown, uses double Glock 9mm’s a la Chow Yun-fat in his John Woo days, and during the course of the film he uses a dazzling assortment of shotguns including the Mossberg 590 Mariner, a Mossberg 500 12 gauge, an IGA Coach 12 gauge, a pair of beautiful Benelli M4 Super 90’s, and Jesse Eisenberg, who until now has seemed to be little more than the shadow of Michael Cera, carries a very stylish IGA Coach double barrel 12 gauge. Harrelson also has some fun with the zombies at an amusement park with a Heckler & Koch MP7A1 semi automatic weapon and at one point he returns to his roots with a Winchester 1892 Mare’s Leg, the astonishingly beautiful weapon that Steve McQueen carried in Wanted Dead or Alive. McQueen enlarged the lever grip of his so that he could twirl and swirl with it. Harrelson doesn’t need that filigree; he just sticks it in the ear of a zombie and pulls it off.

If everyone is a little damp downstairs from all the gun talk you can relax because they also use a pick ax and some big ass knives to fight off zombies and search for Twinkies. Harrelson’s character, Tallahassee, likes to drive by them and smack ‘em down with the door of his Escalade, until that gets stolen and he has to use a bright yellow Hummer. All in all its murder and mayhem low-tech American style with some high powered weapons. And it’s all very funny. And I usually don’t like that kinda’ thang.

The story is: the world has gone to the zombies and our main characters are trying to either get home or to an amusement park called Pacific Playland. To keep from getting too involved they use the place they are from for names, hence Harrelson is ‘Tallahassee’, Eisenberg is ‘Columbus’, Emma Stone is ‘Wichita’, and the wonderful Abigail Breslin is ‘Little Rock’. She carries a Winchester 1890 Pump action rifle in case you were still interested. They don’t want to get emotionally involved but, it being the movies, they do, and the slow growing romance between Eisenberg and the increasingly dazzling Emma Stone is very nicely handled.

There are some great action deaths and the flesh eating gore tapers off so that we can really get involved with the characters and their story. There is also a wonderful homage to one of the great comic actors of our time, but I won’t say any more, except to think about golf and gophers.

It is available to stream for a price and, if you can find the last remaining video store, hook yourself up. Cook up some rare hamburgers, “nut up” as Tallahassee would say, and settle in for a very good time. You can hate yourself later.